January 1, 2020

Setting goals for the new fiscal year has become such a norm. One takes a second to meander through their life and come up with goals they hope to achieve in a matter of 365 days to feel fulfilled. Nothing is wrong with this concept...I’m just plain sick of it. I actually set goals for 2019 and nothing came true. It was the complete opposite of what I wanted to happen. I lost a Bestfriend and Goddaughter due to communication and growth issues. I fell out of love with someone. I quit my job with no set plan. I stopped talking to my biological father and lost faith in the goodness of people. I did a lot of overthinking and blamed myself for majority of the pain I experienced. Perhaps it was the fact that I said 2019 would be my “Fuck It” year. Instead I feel like the Universe said “Fuck You.”

The amount of storms I faced tried to take me out. This sabbatical has truly put me in vulnerable space. There‘s no Silver Lining because as soon as I look forward to something or someone, shit hits the fan. So I stopped looking for rainbows and just anticipated darkness and disappointments. This is not to depress you, but I have to live in my truth. This is also not to persuade you that it has all been bad. I’ve had some monumental moments this year. Some epic shit has occurred that will keep me smiling for a lifetime.

So here we are in 2020. I want to believe it will be rainbows and sunshine. I want to believe that next school year I will have an amazing class. I want to believe that the guy I like will go the distance for me. But hell who knows. Instead I sit and reflect on questions to add to my Vision Board. I talk to God and set sights for myself. I do it with no expectations this time. Whatever isn’t attained will not discredit my existence. As I am living in the NOW. So often we set these sights but loose sight of what’s important. We are important! Yes I want a husband and kids, but my fate will determine if it’s for me. I would love to earn 6 figures, but the 5 I make will be great. I can aspire many things but if I don’t appreciate the now, none of this matters.

So I leave you with this. Dare to live with a vision but be mindful of where you are. Work towards one goal at a time, thanking the Universe for what it’s given you at the moment. Be mindful of your triggers as they dictate your movement and energy. Surround yourself with love, as it’s what will get you out of your dark place. Take risks in love, opportunities and life events....as these things will bring you magic and will teach you lessons. Most importantly don’t let a year change make or break you. Favor is real and has no account of timing deemed by men. Happy New Year....May the odds be forever in your favor.